JP title: 美少女万華鏡 -呪われし伝説の少女-
Bob, just listen to me. LISTEN. I have this idea for an eroge. Okay, you ready for this? So there’s this girl, right? Who’s a vampire. You following me so far? And she’s all cute and wears her hair in twintails. Dudes love twintails, trust me. Okay, so she’s a vampire, but get this… instead of blood… she sucks YOUR DICK
GAME OF THE YEAR
OF ALL TIME
TEN OUTTA TEN
Okay, so you may remember that I wrote a pretty stupid “””r’éview“”” of this VN many, many years ago. If you don’t remember, GOOD. Stay that way. I was young and a Silly Goose ™ back then, and we all make mistakes. But worry not, Gare 2.0 is here to make things right. So I did actually go back to this eroge recently to play it properly and, well… had a jolly old time touching myself to it. Because if a cute 300-year-old vampire chick gurgling on your cum is not the very definition of wholesome entertainment, I don’t know what is.
I won’t waste time on the premise too much, but basically there’s a writer who’s looking for material for his occult writings so he travels to an inn. There, he meets a young girl called Renge (who is Very Good) and she shows him a weird old kaleidoscope. He peeks into it and has a dream of… well, the contents of the VN. Which go like this:
There’s a teacher at an all-girls academy who is hopelessly in love with one of his students, the beautiful Kirie. Things happen, he goes over to her mansion and she basically reveals herself as a vampire, proceeding to suck on his neck while stroking his cock. Y’know, just to fuck with him and such. For entertainment. For fun. Handjobs are like saying hi to vampires. The more you know. Anyway, so long story short, Teacher Dude eventually offers to become Kirie’s walking blood pack to prevent her from preying on his students (and also to be with her). So this results in sort of a master/slave relationship (which is occasionally reversed) and lots, and I mean lots, of raunchy sex once Kirie realizes that for vampires, semen works just as well for sustenance as blood. Because of course it does.
…And that day, the legend of Kirie the Jizz Hunter was born: folk would later dub her illustrious tale… “The Cum-Catcher in the Rye”.
For indeed, our charming twintail’d tsunderella vampiress begins to hunger for the ol’ baby batter, and is eager to gobble down sperm like this was a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos, where the marbles are cum and the hippos are vampires. This analogy sucks, but you get my point. And so, our hero must do his best to satiate this hungry beast to the best of his abilities, as Kirie’s appetite is as large as her temper is short.
So at this point, H scene after H scene follows with little to no breaks. Some of them are even animated. The first thing you’ll notice is that the artwork is fucking gorgeous. And for that, we give our thanks to Happoubi Jin. I especially like how Happoubi draws hands and fingers, by the way, and if there ever was a time to call fingers “sexy af”, this is it.
Honestly, even if you’re like me and prefer bustier heroines, the art still makes up for it here. That, and the content of the H scenes, which largely revolve around Kirie’s tsundere antics with a bit of occasional S&M thrown in there for good measure. Kirie is a proud and haughty vampire, but as the dickings escalate, her dere/horny side gradually bubbles to the surface and she essentially goes from “be thankful for this, you pig” to “MMMM I NEED THIS CUM SO BAD JESUS CHRIST I AM SO FUCKING THIRSTY FOR THIS JIZZ LORD SAVE ME” and her mind basically unravels to the point where all she can think about is the D, and how she must, at all costs, syphon every single drop out of this poor bastard’s cock if it’s the last thing she does.
PICTURED ABOVE: Notorious semen bandit Kagarino Kirie homing in on her unsuspecting prey
And if you thought THAT wasn’t good enough, there’s a H scene (one of my favorites, in fact) where she gets drunk as all fuck on wine. Drunk 69 deredere shenanigans ensue. The CG for it is good shit, too. This reminds me, there’s an extra epilogue scene you can unlock (just follow a guide) that happens to include probably the hottest animated H scene in the game. So, you know. Don’t miss it. The greatest regret of my eroge life is that I was too exhausted by the time I got to this part so I couldn’t properly… make use of it right then and there. Oh well, there’s always another day.
As for the story, it’s pretty basic, and not particularly long. Only a couple hours. So yeah, it’s nothing to write home about, though it does a decent job of serving as filler text between your porn, and the ending is heartwarming enough. Still, there’s overall not a lot of non-porn content, only some short intermediary scenes before we hop right back into Rumpy Pumpy Town.
Okay, so to sum it up, this eroge has:
- Fifteen H scenes with a vampire girl who goes from haughty tsuntsun to deredere sex demon
- Beautiful art by Happoubi Jin
- A few animated H scenes
- Some nice music
- A zombie butler!
- Not much of a story, but the ending is fairly touching
Anyway, that’s it! Review’s over! Bye!
(P.S. I sort of want a werewolf nukige now.)