It is the year 2020. Mankind is in peril. Only two states of being remain: you’re either a vtuber, or secretly made of cake. In these uncertain times, we understandably need ways to relax. Ways to tune out the chaos that rages beyond the safety of our homes. Indeed, in times like this, we need… horny Japanese girls whispering sweet nothings into our ears. And so, I’ve traveled far and wide across the pornscape in order to bring you something different. Something we haven’t quite dipped our toes into on this here humble blog.
Today, with great pleasure, and in firm defiance of the cultural travesty known as No Nut November, I bring you a succulent gift from the heavens: ero-ASMR.
So yeah, we’re in uncharted waters now. This is a first for the blog. Join me as we embark upon this magical adventure in which we try to find out if Japanese voice actresses can make you cum with nothing but their voices. Spoilers, the answer is yes. Yes they can.
Since this was my first real ASMR (aside from a few Youtube ones created by talented amateurs), I’m not gonna pretend I know all there is to know about the genre, but here’s one piece of advice nonetheless. In my experience, you can’t just sit down and listen to this. That’s going to inevitably lead to disappointment, I feel. Instead, you should probably…
…play this in the evening, and in a quiet room with no one else around.
…use decent-quality ear- or headphones with the volume cranked up.
…be sufficiently tired, but not too exhausted.
…be kinda horny. That should be a given.
When all those conditions are met and all the planets align, when the wolves howl at the moon and the rabbits fuck in the night… well, then you’re probably ready to listen to some lewd voice clips, son. Remember, your imagination is of paramount importance when it comes to products like this, since it’s, you know… all voices. It’s all in your head, basically. Almost like a good book! Well, if a good book could lick your earlobes and tickle your anus while jacking you off. But you get my point.
So here’s the setup. There’s a matching site called PakoFure where people look for, you guessed it, fuck buddies. I’m assuming it’s this world’s version of Tinder. In any case, MC-kun hooks up with a female friend/classmate called Ayase – she’s the one with the purplish hair and the big ol’ pair of honkadonks. Their exchange goes a bit like this:
I’ve actually never used a site like this before…
We could go to a love hotel together…
And have sex…
Haha, just kidding!
Anyway, the two go to said love hotel and Do The Deed, and then… do it some more. Over the course of an unspecified number of days, Ayase gets addicted to MC-kun’s hot dickings and invites her friend Sayaka for a bit of classic 3P action. Sayaka’s a tanned gyaru who’s dissatisfied with her boyfriend, so after hearing all these Tales of High Adventure about MC-kun’s raging carnal prowess, she decides to tag along and, well… sample the goods, so to speak.
So, once both heroines are introduced is when things start for real. Right off the bat, you’re getting two horny grills for the price of one, and PakoFure uses this to its advantage. There are multiple situations where the MC would be banging one girl while the other whispers into his ear, or even better, starts furiously licking it. The ear play is pretty much the best and most immersive part of the experience; this is the kinda stuff you won’t find in a run-of-the-mill nukige. Like, you can almost feel the moist warmth of these girls’ breath on your ear and it’s just… sort of transcendental, you know? And when both girls do it at the same time, with each of them focusing on one ear, it gets brain-meltingly, spine-tinglingly good.
The characters and their dialogue are also pretty cute; Ayase starts off somewhat shy but soon reveals her true muttsuri sukebe nature, as well as a libido more powerful than all the Infinity Stones combined. There’s a certain syrupy-sweet, borderline airheaded innocence to her that gets progressively overtaken by lewd playfulness and unrestrained thirst; at one point during a Sayaka ero scene, she even starts whispering into the MC’s ear, urging him on to go harder and “punish this bratty little gyaru slut”. So yeah, some of the situations get spicy enough to deserve their own Scoville count. There are, of course, scenes where the roles get reversed and Sayaka is the one who starts whispering All The Horny Things into your ear while you rail Ayase. What goes around cums around, as they say. Sayaka’s development was also quite nice. She initially just joins the 3P to mess around with the MC, but as the threesomes get wilder and more frequent, she starts to become genuinely infatuated with him and even proposes an “if I make you cum first you’ll have to become my boyfriend” challenge at the end. Needless to say, she crashes and burns.
They did a great job with the character designs, too; they match their respective VAs perfectly, making it quite easy to just close your eyes and visualize the ero scenes in your mind while listening to the voices. Speaking of visualization aids, I have no complaints about the sound effects, either; whether it was fierce hip-thrusting or soft paizuris, everything felt spot-on. The girls also keep describing some of the things they do, which once again contributes to painting a sufficiently erotic picture in your mind.
I do have a minor nitpick, though. The full length of every clip combined clocks in at around 2 hours, but it honestly feels a lot shorter than that, which kinda leaves you wanting more. What you experience here feels more like the opening act of a nukige, and the girls even allude to all the horny shit they’d be willing to do later (like cosplay), but that’s where the story ends. Oh well.
So the tl;dr version is that the girls are cute and horny (especially Ayase), and the best parts are basically anything involving ear licking and sensual whispering. Other than that, the final ero scene (track #8) where Sayaka gets absolutely fucking dominated and put in her place is probably one of the highlights of the work. By the way, the store pages I linked above have several sample clips that will give you a decent idea of what to expect, so if you listen to those and go “wow, this is pretty hot, I want two more hours of it!” then I guess you’ll probably enjoy the full thing, too. Either way, I thought this was a pretty good ero-ASMR experience that should serve you well during those long, winter nights when you’re feeling tired but also kinda horny – which, I suppose, is pretty on brand for the year 2020.